Two Intertwined Worlds

"What is democracy without choices ?"

I was born and raised as a normal boy. I was sent to public school, primary to secondary, with what I think was sufficient in terms of my knowledge and understanding towards my religion-- Islam, two hours of Islamic teachings class, per day. I was just, one of the many. Everyone was my friend. When I went to college last year, I wanted to change, even if it's the littlest change a man could make of himself. Because, no one  knew who I was there, it was a new start for me. So I did. I became this.

So far it was only the dressing, the attire. I'm still me. A step at a time. For the good insyaAllah.
I still hang around with my old friends,
I listen to music,
I play sports,
I go out for fun. Why?

When I was in college, I was disappointed, to be frank.  I would spend my free time at the Musolla / Masjid, because I find  peace there. But, something felt, different--wrong. The crowd is just, so different. I  kept alternating  between two very, different worlds. Both displeased with another.  The world I was once lived in, and still am, and the world I wish to be in ( not 100%  ) one day.
It sucks, knowing that I can't live in both at the same time. Not because it is impossible, but because of the ideology, the mindset--the labels people patch on each other. It lacks, harmony.

"We loathe what  we do not understand"

If you're walking at the mall with your friends, and you see a man in a robe  and  a serban over his head. Maybe too rare to imagine? Okay instead, you pass by two women with niqabs covering their face. There would be a curious look, as if it is that WEIRD, to wear niqabs, or even jilbabs for that matter. Because we think  people like that are not capable of going out for fun, not capable of cracking jokes, or even play sports. We label them. Because of that, we don't feel like befriending them, unless we've known them  before. We lack understanding. We judge too quickly. The fact that they too, like us, have feelings. Humans, we call them.

 this image says best about the scenario, although it's different.

Where did the stereotype come from? Both sides. The judge, and the judged. We both alienate ourselves from each other. One I  wish would change.

I've been there, on both sides. I used to love dancing, and I still do. I just learn to not cross the lines. And I understand, in what way, if I were to be talked to about Islam, I would want it to be. Definitely not the "YOU CAN'T DO THIS, YOU  CAN'T DO THAT." But that's what we are getting. That's where we are  mislead on the image and stuff. I cry inside, when I learned this.

"If what you preach does not show the beauty of Islam, then you are preaching it wrong"

Islam is Syumul ( holistic ), you gotta know which angle to tackle. Be kind, be patient, not provocative. They say a man will change his personality, inevitably, every six months, and within that time--heck, maybe shorter, they could change to being as good as we are-- perhaps better? So who are we to judge, right?

Hold my hand tight and guide me, so I know you would have me when I fall. Do not shove me when I am wrong, for with what I have, I might shove you back, not knowing your intentions.

Hafidz Iddin.