Since I was small I was taught to not let my anger take over me, but never taught how. So what I did was I suppress everything. When I'm mad, I stay silent. When I'm angry, silence. When I'm upset-- you get the picture. At first it was okay, as time heals nearly everything, including anger. Then this thing, starts happening. Everytime something tipped me off, I would get really angry, but still remained silent. The anger builds up in time. Sure, time heals, on the outside. On the inside, things are boiling up, like a pressure cooker. Then another phenomena, fear. That I might burst at any time, worst-- at the wrong person. I was an angry child. Haha
It was awful. When it's fine, it's fine. When it's not, tension builds up. No one knew I was angry, no one knew I was upset because I kept it to myself. So the fear grew bigger, as I learn my ways through logical thinking, that if I burst suddenly, even if at the right person, would be inappropriate, because I never told them it was wrong, or that I didn't like what they did. I would be the bad guy in the end. Anger is bad, suppressing it is bad, so what's good?
No tool is either good, nor bad. Only the wielder has the power of choice.
You don't suppress it, nor do you let it blow up. You divert it. Let your anger out to a direction where it can cause minimal collateral damage, and in a way that it is constructive rather than destructive. If you feel the need to speak, speak. Try doing it in third person, it gives you more perspective of the picture you're in. And if you feel the need to act, do it without passing the 'anger flame' to the listener. It's not the Olympic. Get mutual grounds, speak with respect, don't assume. NEVER, assume. It makes an ASS out of U and ME. Sometimes it could be that we are wrong, and their patience is the one tested, opposite to what we think. Could be.
I try, not to be some angry little dude, or something. It's not easy, I admit. Changing the lifestyle, changing the mentality. After years of adapting to one, suddenly I'm to make a U-turn. The prophet (pbuh) did get angry, at times, but he never let it take over his judgement and conscience. He remained calm, that sometimes the sahabah would see his face turn red, but he never lost his cool. MasyaAllah, and keep in mind, he was put through A LOT. And he would always ASK before anything. He didn't cut anyone off while they speak, or throw judgement before they could defend themselves.
-Hafidz Iddin
No comments:
Post a Comment